Welcome to “WWEat Raw”! As always, we’re not
necessarily encouraging you to eat raw food. That’s just the name
of our show, so chill with the e-mails! Let’s get to
the food wrestling! Tonight’s matchup– a three-on-three
tag team extravaganza featuring “WWEat” superfoods such as,
Celerey Mysterio… [heavy metal music playing] the Big Fig Show… – [growling] – ANNOUNCER:
And of course, Flan Cena! – You can’t see me,
because I’m hiding behind this pole. – ANNOUNCER:
Tonight’s tag team bout picks these superfoods against
the decidedly less super Kitchen Crew! – Whoo-hoo!
We’re number one-sie! – Sure beats
a banana hammock. – Uh, just for the record,
I’m a pacifist. I’m just here
as the equipment manager. – ANNOUNCER:
This is “WWEat Raw”! – All right, everyone,
I want a good, clean fight without any fighting.
Yay! – Say what?
– [giggles] Just kidding.
But don’t try to hug each other once
or twice when the opportunity rises,
okay? [bell rings]
Yay! Let’s get it on! [boing!] – Whoa! This is really gonna
be a piece of “cake.” [laughs] – [scoffs] I drink guys
like you for breakfast. Get ready for the
zero knuckle shuffle. – Whoa!
– Now, where’d he go? – Flan’s got me
on the ropes already. And the ropes are bouncy! [laughs] – Yeah.
The ropes are bouncy. Now can we wrestle,
or what? – [laughs] They’re bouncy sideways too! – Would you come back?
I’m trash-talking here. – Whee! Bounce! Whee! – [groans] Stop making…
me chase you… I’m getting really windy. – Yeah, I’m getting tired
of it too. I’m at the end
of my “rope.” [laughs]
Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy… – Celerey Mysterio,
tag me out. I can’t go on. – How?
We don’t have any hands. – Oh, good point. Hey, ref,
when do we tag out? – Um, how about
we use a word instead? A word like “puppies”! – Come on! – I’m not saying “puppies”! – That’s okay, we can say
“butterfly kisses” instead. Yay! – Okay.
We’ll go with puppies. Geez!
Puppies! – Puppies!
[laughs] – Alright, Celerey Mysterio’s
in the house. [grunting] – Whoa! Cool! – You like that?
Then you’re gonna love this! [grunts]
[loud thud] – Whoa!
– Huh? – What’s the matter,
Celerey? – Huh? I never flipped
at someone so short before. I don’t think
it’s gonna work. – Try another move! – Yeah.
You don’t wanna stop “short.” [laughs] – [grunting]
[loud thud] He’s too short! None of my moves
are gonna work on him. – Nice! I knew being small
would pay off some day. – [muttering]: I can’t believe
I’m saying this. [normally]: Puppies!
[slip!] – You’re doing great,
Midget Apple! – Yeah. You’re doing a “little”
better than I expected. [laughs] – Thanks. I…
Huh? – [laughing sinisterly] – Are you kidding me?
No way, I’m out! Puppies! Puppies, puppies,
puppies, puppies! A thousand times, puppies! – Okay, Pear,
you’re up! – What?
I don’t wanna go in! I was here just as
an equipment manager. – You have to go in.
He said the magic word. – Ah, crap. Okay, uh, so,
here’s the deal. I don’t know
the first thing about fighting, so maybe you could let
me flip through this “Fighting for Dummies”
book real quick– [heavy metal riff]
– [chomps, growls] – Okay, look. Can we just sit down and
talk about this for a second? – [grunts] – Whoa! Pear just knocked
Y back out with a folding chair. – What? No!
It was an accident! [trumpet playing]
– Puppies. – Now you gotta answer
to me, pal. – Ahh! Ooh! [clang!]
– Ahem. Only one wrestler per team
in the ring at a time, please. – Hey, ref, look!
It’s a unicorn! – Oh! Where?
[whoosh!] – Triple flip-kick! – [grunts, groans]
[clang!] – How are we losing
to these guys? – I have no idea. They’re nobodies,
and we’re the best wrestlers
in the whole world! – You guys aren’t the best
wrestlers in the world. – Yeah?
Then who is? – The Rock.
– The Rock? He’s okay, but, I wouldn’t say
he’s the best. – No! The Rock! – ALL: Huh? [splat!]
[bell rings] Captions by: Alex Porter