Big Cass on Facing Depression and Anxiety

Big Cass on Facing Depression and Anxiety

my name is CaZXL formerly known as
Big Cass when I was with WWE I always dreamed of being a wrestler I always
dreamed of being in WWE that was what I always wanted to do. I was
always unsure of myself. Never 100% confident, but you do start to gain
confidence the more success you’re having the more people say you’re doing
well sold-out the Barclays Center in 2015
crazy crazy ovation when we came out and I think from there on there that’s when
I think they W we might have decided we’re gonna have to bring these guys up
at some point in the next year two nights before WrestleMania after the
takeover show in Dallas, Hunter came up to me and Enzo and said hey you guys can
you stick around? Really okay told us that we were gonna debut on Raw
that Monday and like awesome we went out there everybody knew every
word came to the back got a standing ovation from everybody in gorilla
position…off to the races from there. Being depressed is one thing. Having
depression on a daily basis is different… So anybody that looks at them like
they’re weak or, you know a crybaby or whatever that’s an that
person’s ignoran. Why is this guy upset? He has money is you know everything
he dreamed of since he was a little kid doing wrestling matches in his bedroom
but man that don’t **** all when you’re not well here man don’t mean anything.
It’s hard to tell people about it because who knows what they’re gonna say
you know you’re looking for attention You have everything you ever wanted you
know like you’re just being you’re just seeking more attention or whatever it is
so you don’t tell me you keep it to yourself dealing with that on a daily
basis TVs were the worst for me because of anxiety I’d always had it and then it
kind of ramped up after the debut and you don’t really tell anybody and you
kind of hide it deep down which is the worst thing you can do
I had no medication ID no means of talk theory I had no one to talk to about it
didn’t seek help for four years self medicated with alcohol I was in my hotel
room and it was just everything was going crazy
just depressed anxiety couldn’t fall asleep went to the bar is trying to
drink beers and just couldn’t really fall asleep when I woke up I was like I
wish that God would have just taken me my sleep why am I thinking this I’ve no
idea and I was just so down and I was like I wish that I wouldn’t be alive
today I was like I wish that I would have just
not woken up but then I gotta go to work so I went to work and I had a match
against Enzo and tore my ACL I got emotional I was just a wreck man I was a
complete nutter wreck look I didn’t know how to look to God who is God up there
what like why would you do this appalled but it like after what I’ve been going
through I don’t know how I’m alive today just the amount that I was drinking was
ridiculous the food I was putting in my body was ridiculous no physical activity
chain smoking cigarettes and like I said the amount of alcohol I was putting into
my body on certain days I don’t know how I don’t know how I’m alive right now
when you’re making mistakes like that you got to go boy did they had every
right in the world to get rid of me and then I went to do that house of
horrors show in Philadelphia at that point I’m going into the show I hadn’t
slept in two days two full day and I’ll people say haven’t slept in two days and
they’ve slept like an hour here and there no I literally mean I didn’t sleep
a second in two days don’t remember walking out through the
curtain don’t remember going to the autograph table came to in the ambulance
and they told me you had a seizure I was what the I’m not epileptic I’ve never
had any issues with that I took that as a sign from God God spoke to me that day
he was saying you want to live this life are you gonna end up dead okay so here’s
taste this because this is where your life is heading I could have died that
night that’s what I was told in the ER I acted change man this guy walks up to me
while I’m signing autographs I don’t know this guy from Adam by the way comes
up to me says you’re deeply depressed said I don’t know what’s going on with
you but you’re depressed you deeply deep down
and I’m gonna help you out after the seizure I immediately went to go live
with him in Delaware so we’re living clean living healthy positive attitude
and he turned my life around this isn’t this is number one every day
keeping my mind right I don’t value money like it’s not like oh I got to
make X amount of dollars by the time I’m 35 or whatever I don’t value that I just
want to be happy I want to stay happy everything else is gonna fall into place
if I could do all that I know God is with me I know he’s watching over me
yeah it’s made me value my relationships with those people that are close to me a
lot more yeah I am sitting here right now I’m telling you that I should be
dead with the amount that I drank and the seizure that I had and I shouldn’t
be here did anybody out there suffers with depression anxiety and you’re
hiding it because there’s a stigma out there that you’re weak you’re not weak
whatever it is you need to go seek help because whether it’s medication or or
talk therapy or whatever it is that you need you need to get it because hiding
it deep down it ain’t gonna work and that’s what I did for a long time and
eventually pop every it’s just an explosion whatever you need to do to fix
it make sure you do that because keeping that bottle deep down it ain’t worth it
man trust me from someone that lived it seek help you

100 Replies to “Big Cass on Facing Depression and Anxiety”

  1. Not that it was a negative one to begin with by any stretch, but this 6 minutes or so completely changed the way I look at Cass, all power to the brother and if there’s any truth that today WWE have offered him a return to NXT then that would be fantastic

  2. Thanks Cass, now I know with my anxiety and my fear of death I need therapy, you changed my life thank you, I will never thank you enough

  3. I remember that time where Cass was going solo after the whole tag thing and he tried to cut a promo but the crowd just wouldn't let him, and rather than playing on it he just carried on trying to start the same script over and over again, I felt so bad for him, he ended up just shouting over the crowd, hope he's doing well now with his anxiety

  4. I always thought he was cool, he just has that presence about him. To listen to his story would be an awesome testimony for churches or even to individuals going through the same thing. I tried committing suicide twice, and it sucked afterward for a long time. God is a God of restoration, to not go back to that past at all. I commend CaZ to restore his life. Keep seeking God, my brother!!!

  5. Fucking heartless Assholes who disliked it…i suffer fron anxiety and it fucking sucks. Nobody gets it and I take a lot of benzos and smoke a lot of weed..if i don't stop my life's gonna fuck up. Big cass has my best wishes.

  6. 0:08 And THAT'S why AEW or New Japan will NEVER beat WWE. You're NOBODY untill you have had a decent run in WWE. It's every wrestlers dream from when they're kids

  7. Thank you brotha! It's the hardest thing I've ever gone through. I have two young kids. Its relieving not going through it alone.

  8. this is why i dont judge people because you just never know what goes on behinds closed doors…shout out to bro though, my heart definitely goes out to him

  9. Been to the er twice this past month. Been having anxiety for a while now and never went to go seek help. I will try to this week. Still have fast heart beats once a week and dreams of a heart attack only to wake up and perfectly fine. Oh and I'm only 22

  10. Jesus Christ this is literally me, can't sleep, chain smoking, drinking like a fish, my heart stopped when I was 25 and I was lucky they were paramedics just around the corner from me they managed to revive me I'm 31 now but still carrying on the same way due to depression, and this man hating culture that we live in is adding fuel to the fire. Well done Cass hang in there man.

  11. Might be another setback…

  12. the wrestling business can break you and make your addiction even worse specially when you become a star and it gets taken away it's a mental game

  13. For all the tall words, this man still hasn't changed his demeanour. People gave him a second change at wrestling and he still creates a major backstage drama that led him to being punched and evicted by cops, all the while heavily under the influence. Such a shame! His career is definitely over now. I hope he leads a normal life though and rectifies his ways

  14. these wrestlers have other options than wwe, WWE is not the only fu*king wrestling company around, Big Cass is a good talented wrestler he will make it I hope.

  15. I'm rewatching this after the recent setback Cass had. I too struggle with Depression and anxiety. Pretty much had it my whole life but it really started getting bad when I was 16. I'm 31 now. Fortunally, I am not the type of person who is afraid to get help. I figure if there is anything I can do to make myself feel better, I need to do it. So I've been taking meds since 16 and started talk therapy a year ago after my father passed away. As a wrestling fan I was never high on Enzo and Cass as a team. Felt that Cass could do a lot better. But stepping away from wrestling for a minute, I respect Enzo for sticking by Cass though this tough time. A lot of people don't understand mental health and just don't want to be in the lives of someone with mental health issues. So when you find those people who stick around, they can be living angels in our lives. Cass, if you ever read this, I know it's hard. but stay strong! We are in this struggle together!

  16. Big ups to you for sharing your story. You’re the man Cass and I can’t wait to see you back in the ring. I still think you’re gonna end up at the top of wwe someday

  17. I really hope Cass gets help. I don’t want something bad to happen. Relapses do happen and you have to be ready for it. I just don’t want to have to wake up one day and read a headline about Cass doing something because his head was right. I feel for him, I’ve been in his situation, not literally but the same kind of situation. It’s hard but I really really hope Cass is okay.

  18. It's sad bro I'm having depression too bro pray to God he's the only who can take out the fucking depression sometimes money doesn't bring happiness I'm not going to lie is necessary to buy things to pay bills to survive ask this Hollywood actor he had money and he killed himself I forgot that actors name we all suffering but don't blame it on God we all alive because God loves and gives breath God is the most beautiful person in the world he loves you and the whole world I don't know what God is doing up their I don't know if he's working on heaven I have no idea I want to see God one day or Jesus I don't care if I don't make it to heaven I just want to see how God looks find help bro

  19. You're a good wrestler keep fighting for your dreams I'm a martial artist and soccer player all I can say is this I'm miserable too women don't give happiness playing don't give happiness I don't know how to find it but God always taking care of us

  20. Pretty much everything he said here has been me down to a fucking tee the last few weeks. I’m 22, and have no income and live with my parents constantly worrying that the next day they’ll give up on me. I can’t be on my own, I know I can’t. I’ve been alone before and it damn near killed me. Literally. Everything that’s been put in front of me to help me so far has failed, and I’m feeling like maybe happiness isn’t for me. Wrestling has been my saving grace recently, it got me out of a really bad mental breakdown after I quit my job back in 2015, and it’s just about kept me afloat recently. Cass I truly hope you find your peace and way in life, your an incredible man and someone who I now admire greatly. God bless you ❤️

  21. Your a brave dude and your story is inspiring especially to those suffering with depression. Thank you bro for standing up and speaking out about this in a world where men are supposed to “suck it up”

  22. I once suffer from anxiety….I took medication and made it worst….anxiety it's a bad feeling….GOD BLESS YOU CASS and hope you keep on fighting and stay positive

  23. I can completely relate. Its very hard being depressed daily, especially when you have a good life. It really can destroy peoples lives. And your loved ones don’t understand because like he said, why would he be depressed, he has a good life. I know that if I didn’t have chronic depression myself, I would not get this mans pain at all. Based on what he has accomplished. Depression and anxiety need more attention, because it is happening more and more, rich and poor alike. And we self medicate, which worsens the illness. Thank you big cass for sharing this , if you can be brave about this and share your story, i can as well. God bless.

  24. Next time ur feeling like killing yourself, I implore you to visit a CANCER WARD. that will shake the suicide tenancy right out of your system.

  25. People say they suffer from depression but people don’t understand this type of depression. There are different levels of it and it’s a disease that is really hard to wrap your mind around. Man I understand how he feels and he just needs to surround himself with positive people

  26. I have anxiety and fear of being too long outside in public places. Fear of gossip, fear of doing something wrong.

  27. Coming from someone who knows I suffer from GAD anxiety disorder depression disorder and BPD and on a lot of pills at the age of 27 I know what’s it’s like it robs you of everything I snuggle everyday but cena msg of never give up means a lot to me I proudly wear his stuff a huge hero to me but wish cases all the best and everyone who struggles wiv mental. Health try and have a great year take each day at a time

  28. Viewing and listening to Cass has changed my opinion of him. Cass I am pulling for you. You deserve to get back to the big time. This experience has humbled you are you sound really grounded. Can’t wait to see you on tv soon.

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